Requiem For A Swordfish

Hi friends,

I have some terrible and shameful news I must share with you.

Last Thursday, I, Harold Horseface, hit a swordfish with my car.

I didn’t mean to, I swear I didn’t. He came out of nowhere. I feel just awful about this.

I have taken some time to search my feelings and reflect on this tragedy, and after nine days of contemplation, I have written a poem to commemorate this poor, noble creature. My poem is called “Requiem for a Swordfish”.

I would appreciate it if you would read this poem aloud right now.

I have nothing else to say.

    - Harold

Always in our hearts, you will never be forgotten

“Requiem for a Swordfish”

By Harold Horseface

 

I never knew it would hurt me so

For the king of the ocean to be dethroned

Swordfish, you were only trying to cross the road

 

And in my selfishness I ran you down

Embedded your sword in the ground

Can forgiveness ever be found?

 

You emerged from the Connecticut River

Just before the Wilder Dam

And made your way towards Interstate 89

 

I was in a hurry to get to West Leb

So I could buy more tax free cans of soda

And bring them home to Vermont and get a 5 cent deposit that I did not pay for

 

Hidden in between the pines

You approached the painted line

And waited for the perfect time

 

But alas, you could not comprehend

That the exit ramp was not your friend

For I was coming ‘round the bend

 

Swordfish, where were you trying to go?

What made you choose this treacherous path

That intersected with my Pontiac?

 

And will we ever hear your message?

Or will it be forever drowned out by squeal of brakes and honk of horn?

Only you, Swordfish, could have offered us true enlightenment

 

When you hit my windshield it was unclear

I thought you might have been a deer

But I saw you in my rear view mirror

 

Your fin twitched as if to wave goodbye

And a tear came out of my eye

Swordfish, why did you have to die?

 

It’s at times like this that I wonder

How many 12-packs of Mountain Dew Code Red is a life worth?

Some say it’s three, cause that’s all they had at Hannaford’s

 

But I know, Swordfish, that you meant more than that

And a mountain of nickels could never make me forget

How your weary smile followed me as I drove off

 

Now your body lies for all to see

Even Bungalow Bill would have to agree

This was a crime against humanity

 

And how I wish this story wasn’t true

But this is something I cannot undo

Oh, Swordfish, why did it have to happen to you?